poll

Big headlines the other day on the Swedish evening paper: “Half or the Swedish women have se x on the first night” It doesn’t say on the first date since it’s not necessarily a date these women have been on. It’s more likely after a night at the local bar or on the dance floor. Who can blame these women?! Most cities have more women than men habitats for one. The chance of ever hearing from a guy you actually think is nice is extremely slim. Most of my friends would say next to none. (and these are all cool, friendly, nice looking and adventurous women who makes money). Even if it’s actually spending the whole weekend in bed with the person you like, having dinners together, experiencing moments with someone special, just hang with, discuss important matters over the morning paper etc – even if that’s what you really want: wrinkle the sheets with the man at hand is all that is offered. Better than nothing? Is it even a substitute? Most of us know that se x the first night will not lead to a relationship. And still I think a lot of these one-nighters happen due to yearning for true love. Hope’s the last thing we give up – isn’t it.

It’s so nice to see that 20 people at this point believe in love according to my mini-poll! That brings hope to me. I on the other hand am the only one who has voted “what’s the point”. And I’m asking that again: what’s the point? People who are in relationships seam to be complaining about it, misunderstanding each other etc. It’s beyond me. Yes it’s nice that I may do what ever I want, when ever I want. I can crank-up the music and dance in silly ways, eat my favourite dish for a month in a row, watch all the CSI episodes ever made, book different activities every night of the week, spend an entire Sunday with my girlfriends at a coffee shop, buy way too expensive lotions and what ever I feel like doing. But still – I want more.

During the same time as the headlines above in the Swedish paper, there had been a poll in Great Brittan: who would give up se x to live a 100 years? 60% (or was it 40%? – still way high) had answered YES! Can you believe it?! How would you spend your time those 100 years?!

rules

The things we do to protect us from life. I’m sure the first rule we set up was to protect ourselves. Protection from being violated. We built a wall to be able to control everything that happens to us. To some point this is good. It is good to not accept having other people put you down. But what if we interpret everything other people do or say as being hostile or an insult? We have to build higher walls and make stricter rules. Each rule is an opportunity lost. If I instead try to meet my fellow creature with an open mind and listen to what he/she has to say, without demanding that this person follow my set of rules, I could gain a broader perspective of things I never even thought about. I’m at a state where I try to live with this awareness. I have been going through life like a steamroller. Protecting myself from being hurt, protecting myself from what I thought was other peoples judgements. When in fact it’s my own judgement that is heavy to bear. All people out there with another point of view, other frames of references or just another way of expressing themselves: I don’t want to keep them out. Tear down the walls and start living life. Give and take: forget the rules. Or as we say in business: think out of the box.

The art of projection is enigmatic! No matter what psychology-school you read: they talk about projection. There are a few different vocabularies for it, but it means the same. The “bad” attributes we have – consciously or not – we see in other people. It has helped me to get a happier outlook on life, by not taking in everything people say as being meant for me. Rather it is saying something about them. It is truly a work in progress and I have to actively think about this. It also makes me think of why I say the things I do. Why am I mean or put other people down? I can not change anyone else, but I can change how I perceive what people say to me. Perception is reality, and I prefer being at peace than being hurt.

board room

Note: no animals where harmed during this photo shoot. Simon loves me, he really does. He just doesn’t like having his picture taken.



Is there usually not a difference between men’s locker room and the board room?! I might be naïve, but I thought that successful men had high standards when they where gathered in professional context. What is norm?

Last week I attended a board meeting. I was elected secretary and kept notes. An unannounced break came up when one of the men (I was the only female) went to the bathroom. This made the rest of the crowd a bit more relaxed and chatty. The sales manager is such a “mother hen” to all his sales guys. He pampers them and their egos to the point where it’s almost cute. The rest of the board asked how the Swedish guy stationed in the US was doing. They have all heard that the sales manager wants him to come back to Sweden for a year so that he can find himself a wife. In the manager’s experience it’s apparently hard for a salesman stationed in a foreign country to find a mate. Well new information is that the sales guy wants to spend some time in Japan, because he thinks Japanese girls are cute. I am not kidding. This was the actual conversation in the board meeting. Off the record, but still. “So now the company is going to make great business in Japan with him there” one of the guys cheerfully said. “The business expansion of the world is driven forward by men’s se x drive!” was the excided conclusion.

I was speechless. How do you react to such a statement? The earth is rotating due to men’s private parts.

When I lived in the US, there was a cigarette brand – Virginia Slim’s – which adds would say something like “you’ve come a long way baby”. It was pictures of “strong” and beautiful women smoking, and I assume they wanted to say that women have more rights now than we used to. What I’m thinking is: Babe: we’ve got a long way to go.