Wednesday, September 27, 2006

rules

The things we do to protect us from life. I’m sure the first rule we set up was to protect ourselves. Protection from being violated. We built a wall to be able to control everything that happens to us. To some point this is good. It is good to not accept having other people put you down. But what if we interpret everything other people do or say as being hostile or an insult? We have to build higher walls and make stricter rules. Each rule is an opportunity lost. If I instead try to meet my fellow creature with an open mind and listen to what he/she has to say, without demanding that this person follow my set of rules, I could gain a broader perspective of things I never even thought about. I’m at a state where I try to live with this awareness. I have been going through life like a steamroller. Protecting myself from being hurt, protecting myself from what I thought was other peoples judgements. When in fact it’s my own judgement that is heavy to bear. All people out there with another point of view, other frames of references or just another way of expressing themselves: I don’t want to keep them out. Tear down the walls and start living life. Give and take: forget the rules. Or as we say in business: think out of the box.

The art of projection is enigmatic! No matter what psychology-school you read: they talk about projection. There are a few different vocabularies for it, but it means the same. The “bad” attributes we have – consciously or not – we see in other people. It has helped me to get a happier outlook on life, by not taking in everything people say as being meant for me. Rather it is saying something about them. It is truly a work in progress and I have to actively think about this. It also makes me think of why I say the things I do. Why am I mean or put other people down? I can not change anyone else, but I can change how I perceive what people say to me. Perception is reality, and I prefer being at peace than being hurt.

6 Comments:

Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

What a great attitude!

Don't get too discouraged with yourself if you slip back into your old way of thinking. Just start again.

Good luck!

Yeharr

5:53 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

We're our worst critics. I guess everyone has a tad of insecurity levels that make us think, "Oh GAWD they think I look bad!" Ever notice when you're having a great hair day, or a really awesome outfit on, you feel better about yourself-----and other people notice your self confidence? Self confidence is a sexy trait!!!

7:35 PM  
Blogger Diane Mandy said...

I couldn't agree more. I used to be part of a very closed community and only associated with like-minded people. But I wasn't fulfilled and I wasn't growing. It took my over 30 years to break away from that way of life. I've come to appreciate diversity of thought, lifestyles, and cultures. I wouldn't want everyone to be like me or always agree with me. The world would be so dull!

7:40 PM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Balloon Pirate: Oh I know I will ”slip back”. Right now there isn’t a lot of pressure in my life so I have the time to be aware and think about these things. But it’s sure a work in progress.


Deb: Good advice to notice even the little things! It’s one step at the time. I’ve noticed that good attitude/self confidence put people I meet in a good mood as well. I know I’m always attracted to people who like and know who they are. It’s inspiring and sexy!


Diane: I think you pinpointed the thing with only surrounding yourself with like-minded people: no growth. Change is usually associated with some kind of pain though. I think that’s why so many people stay in their stuffy environment. When you let other people in to your life, it requires you to question the things you thought where the only right way. And it has made me look at my self-image. Scary, interesting and rewarding!

10:05 PM  
Blogger Sam I Am said...

Change. It's the one thing you can count on in this life. We can't avoid this paradoxical constant, yet we ceaselessly struggle to achieve some measure of control over it. But there's no stopping change. Our looks change, we have a "change of heart," or we "change our mind." On the one hand, it is often difficult to accept change, but on the other hand, we actually crave it. We know it can offer a new perspective on work, play, and life.

7:37 PM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Sam: Loving that paradoxical constant! Maybe we so desperately try to avoid change (sometimes) just because we know it’s inevitable? Like we only want what we can’t have? Sometimes I get the feeling that people nag about how bad or boring things are, but they are not willing to make a change. They might say they are, but they won’t do it. Some change is inevitable, some we have to work hard to accomplish.

12:45 AM  

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