Tuesday, June 19, 2007


The cab driver drove better than I could have asked for! Like a maniac that is. In and out of lanes, speeding up at each yellow light, driving really close to cars in front that didn’t move out of his lane fast enough. Very much the same way I would have driven actually, only his knuckles weren’t white and he didn’t yell “idiot” at the – well – idiots who didn’t move out of his way, the way I would have. How can someone drive so aggressive and look so calm at the same time?! And it turned out that he was half deaf as well, so nothing seamed to disturb him.

And then it hit me: I’m not ready to die yet. It was such a happy realisation! I hope that for most people it’s such a given that they don’t ever even think about it. But there have been times in my life when dying didn’t seam like such a bad idea or simply so that I was ready for it. You know when you think back at all the fun and fantastic stuff you have done. I’ve met so many nice and interesting people, I’ve done a lot of things that I never thought I would and seen so many places. It didn’t feel like a waste of life if I died. Or at times when things where bad like the years when my body was 95% covered with oozing, itching, aching rashes for example – dying didn’t seam like such a bad alternative. But today I have more things I want to do, more days to experience things. What a wonderful feeling that is!


Blogger Diane Mandy said...

Yey! I'm glad to hear you are feeling more postive. Besides I need you around, especially after I move to Germany this year and need to make a road trip your way. :-)

4:34 PM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Diane! It's so cool that you guys actualy are moving to this side of the water. Please come visit! Lot's of positive things in my neck of the woods :-)

12:46 AM  
Blogger mal said...

it seems odd that the closer we get to the end of our lives the more we appreciate the gift.

I know I am on the back side of my life but it has never been better.


4:49 PM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Mal! Why does it take such long time to figure it out?! I'm glad I'm not alone though :-)

5:43 PM  
Blogger DESPERADO said...

I do drive just like the cab driver.Calm and rash.
I didn't know that I had a death wish b4 reading this post.(Note to self:introspect on this.)

Guess as years pass by, if we begin to feel that there is so much to do in a little time and if we feel that living is better than dying(at least most of times), then it is a life well spent.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Desperado: That was a nice way to express it. Thanks for your comment!

12:41 AM  

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