Tuesday, June 19, 2007


The cab driver drove better than I could have asked for! Like a maniac that is. In and out of lanes, speeding up at each yellow light, driving really close to cars in front that didn’t move out of his lane fast enough. Very much the same way I would have driven actually, only his knuckles weren’t white and he didn’t yell “idiot” at the – well – idiots who didn’t move out of his way, the way I would have. How can someone drive so aggressive and look so calm at the same time?! And it turned out that he was half deaf as well, so nothing seamed to disturb him.

And then it hit me: I’m not ready to die yet. It was such a happy realisation! I hope that for most people it’s such a given that they don’t ever even think about it. But there have been times in my life when dying didn’t seam like such a bad idea or simply so that I was ready for it. You know when you think back at all the fun and fantastic stuff you have done. I’ve met so many nice and interesting people, I’ve done a lot of things that I never thought I would and seen so many places. It didn’t feel like a waste of life if I died. Or at times when things where bad like the years when my body was 95% covered with oozing, itching, aching rashes for example – dying didn’t seam like such a bad alternative. But today I have more things I want to do, more days to experience things. What a wonderful feeling that is!