Sunday, November 05, 2006


What if it’s true? That we are born with a void inside. And have to spend the rest of our lives to fill it. If we don’t find something with substance, we’ll just have to keep filling that hole. Cause we’ll always feel that emptiness inside. That’s why we become addicts. We didn’t find something with enough mass. One person is a work-o-holic, the next is looking for love in all the wrong places, someone might try to shop herself happiness, or just plain old alcohol abuse to lessen the emptiness. Is this why most of us are starving for attention and recognition?

What is there with enough substance to make me feel whole?

For religious people it seams easier. They probably don’t have to search for a purpose. It’s given to them.

A lot of times it feels like music fill up that emptiness. It fills me with what ever mood the music puts me in. Same with exercise and using my body for strenuous activities. (I don’t want to use the word “sports”, because I am too much of a competitive person and personally don’t like the element of competition in sports.) Eating a well prepared meal also seam to satisfy me.

But the music become silent, most of the times I’m too tired or too lazy to exercise and I’m not that good of a cook.

I still feel that void.


Anonymous CreoleInDC said...

Smooches Princess!

I think we are born with a void inside that we have to fill and we just keep adding new experiences until we feel content within our souls. I feel this void often and I give in to it regularly. But...I don't let it control me and I think that's the secret.

It's a pleasure meeting you.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

For me, the void comes from thinking that I'm not enough just as I am.

And, sometimes, I'm not. That's why I have friends.

And it's also why I'm working on changing myself into someone who can be content with just myself, as well.

Contentment is underrated.


7:49 PM  
Blogger mal said...

uh oh....I may go existentalist here, If I do, just slap me and I will be OK *S*

Purpose? Purpose finds us. I am not sure that we are equipped yet to really understand our purpose in the greater universe. I further think it is hubris for us to claim to know the mind of God. I take solace in knowing there is PURPOSE. I accept that the rest will come in its own time and do not worry about it *S*

Exercise and cooking? *L* both just take practice I think...stumbling on both can fun too.

Neat picture. Reminds me of late spring along the Central California Coast


6:16 AM  
Blogger Zack said...

I always feel empty. I hate to admit it but its true, I dont mean every second, not even close. But in the grand scheme of things I never feel full, I never feel right.

Damn I'm cheerful. Sorry about that.

7:06 PM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Creole in DC: thanks for stopping by! I guess I’m looking for that content level. How much do we have to fill it with to get there? I’m sure there are things that will fill it faster than other things. Healthy to not let the void control you! When I’m in a rut that’s probably what is happening: the void is everything.

Balloon Pirate: or maybe working on how you view yourself? From what I’ve read of you there is no reason for you not to feel enough!

Mal: isn’t that the challenge though: just to accept that there is a purpose and not wanting to know what it is?! I’m still at the point where I’m wondering if there really is a purpose. Maybe life is just a waste of time.

From the dictionary: n : a philosopher who emphasizes freedom of choice and personal responsibility but who regards human existence in a hostile universe as unexplainable Hey I like that! I think I will start calling myself an existentialist actually.

The picture is Highway 1 going from LA to San Francisco – the last time I was there. I love that scenery! It’s so dramatic.

Zack: don’t worry about not being cheerful: I’m not. Have you given some thoughts as to what would make you feel less empty though?

12:55 AM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Phew! I finally figured out how to close the tags ;-)

12:56 AM  
Blogger mal said...

*L* no wonder the picture looked like the Central Coast, it is! I am guessing somewhere not too far north of San Simeon. I still miss that country on occasion.

The way that I have come to view it is we have 2 choices. We accept that we live in a universe of purpose or we do not.

If we do not, then it is all ultimately pointless and we might as well just ask the dinosaurs to move over because we are looking to die.

If we accept there is purpose, then we can build a foundation of moral and social behaviours that use our species self awareness to enhance the long term survivability of the species.

For now, both positions are unproveable so I choose to accept purpose. Why? Because there is wonder and beauty all around us.


5:23 AM  
Blogger Zack said...

I'm just compiling a list of things like sex, booze and drugs that I know don't work

6:48 PM  
Anonymous CreoleInDC said...

"I guess I’m looking for that content level. How much do we have to fill it with to get there? I’m sure there are things that will fill it faster than other things. Healthy to not let the void control you! When I’m in a rut that’s probably what is happening: the void is everything. "

Princess...I wish I knew the answer to that because I'd love to know it too. I have a FABULOUS life with a wonderful husband, great friends, etc. and yet with so much...I still sometimes find myself questioning what I think I need to be truly content and happy.

You just have to accept that it is as it is. Seriously.

I keep adding new experiences and I feel I get closer...but as soon as I'm reminded of heartache...I draw back into myself. *sigh*

Wish I could have been of some help sweetie.

7:27 PM  
Blogger nosthegametoo said...

I'm not sure if we choose our purpose or if life guides us toward it.

But we can choose how to pursue whatever purpose we accept.

I'm not sure how to end a feeling of emptiness. But the old people around me used to tell me that: "an idle mind is the devil's plaything".

Maybe all of this is why we covet the concept of happiness and love so dearly, they seem to give us imense comfort.

Better days to you, now and forever.

Peace and Love

1:53 PM  
Blogger Diane Mandy said...

I stopped looking for a greater purpose in life, and started to concentrate on the notion that, ultimately, I controlled my own happiness. That gave me enough to keep busy! I've determined that being self-focused isn't selfish, because part of what makes me happy are things like being a dependable friend, charitable giving, exploring diversity in people and thought.

I hope you find that something that gives you a lift. My guess is that you'll find it!

8:11 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

It's almost like a constant struggle, isn't it? I mean, with me, being that I love God and claim to be Christian, they say that 'finding God' fills that void. But when I slip and fall from being so faithful, and backslide, then I feel that void again. I think many things can replace voids. It's such a mysterious thing, isn't it?

If I'm happy about one thing, I'm sad about another. As humans, we're all not completely satisfied. Not even celebrities are 100% happy with their lives. Some people think by winning the lottery, that this will complete their happiness. Most of the time, the more money you have, the more unhappiness follows with it.

Wonderful and VERY thought provoking post. I wonder what will fill my void today. It's almost like a 'stomach' in a sense.

Okay, I gotta shut it for now! ha!


7:32 AM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Mal: I appreciate your way of thinking. It’s comforting. I hope to get there as well. You are a resourceful woman!

Zack: I think we all know that those things won’t work. But then again: sex is usually included in loving relationship with a good person. Nothing wrong with some champagne to celebrate, wine to complement the food and a glass of something strong after dinner while you discuss important matters with good friends. And of course there are drugs that keep us alive and healthy. These things alone do not fill the hole, but in the right context I believe they do.

CreoleInDC: There probably isn’t a state where a person can forever be content and happy. Constant euphoria would probably mean that a person does not comprehend what’s going on around the world. I’m just looking for something in-between bliss and total emptiness.

I appreciate you stopping by!

nosthegametoo: ”But we can choose how to pursue whatever purpose we accept.” Nicely said and a good reminder!

Just like you, I do believe happiness and love give us comfort. With that comfort I’m hoping to fill the void.

Thank you for your kind words!

Diane: I truly believe we control our own happiness, but it’s not making it any easier! Maybe by not thinking about it so much it won’t feel so bad. Change things at a level where it’s possible to make a change. It’s nice to here that there are ways to get out of “the rut” Diane! You are a good role model.

Deb: I have no illusion that fame or money can fill the void. It might make it bigger since these people probably are expected to be happy – don’t you think? The less you truly are what you appear to be, the emptier it must feel.

Maybe that’s the way to tackle it: look for something to fill the void each day. That way it doesn’t have to be so big. Thanks Deb!

1:27 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

You are so right with your thoughts on the "dreaded void". I too believe that it's always been there. Childhood probably covered it up because we were so dependant on our parents. The void becomes much more obvious when we have to depend on ourselves. I know that love does help to fill a lot of the void. One just has to be carefull to mask the void with false love 'cause you'll end up tripping and falling right in! One other "void filler" is definately having purpose. And it's not always good enough waiting for that purpose to come and find us, unfortunately. We need to broadcast the need for a purpose to the universe by striving for new goals and being as genuine as we can with existing ones....

2:19 PM  
Blogger It's me said...

I have to have music or something. I don't like silence.

1:32 PM  
Blogger No_the_game said...


You got me thinking. My struggle in life is constantly setting bar high for myself. One I achieve setted goals I strive for a new goal.

Thanks for the thought provoking post.

With luv,
Tired of dating games

4:07 PM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Greg: What a nice way to express yourself! I think that “false love” is just like any other addiction. It’s a substitute for something real – something with substance. The more we try to fill our void with it, the deeper the hole gets. It’s tricky though, to figure out if the feeling you have is the good, healthy love we all benefit from, or if it’s the kind that makes the emptiness greater.

What kind of goals are you thinking of here? Is it professional goals? Personal growth? Is professional goals included in personal growth? Or are you talking about making a difference in the world? Do what you can to feed the hungry etc? I’ve spent so much of my life to strive for new goals, I’m starting to feel like that’s part of my addiction. What is your take on this?
Thanks for stopping by!

Hi It’s me! You changed your name :-) Music helps me too. Sometimes I need the silence though. To hear my thoughts.

No the game: You describe what I feel like I’ve been doing. As I said to Greg above though: I think its part of my addiction. Why can I not be satisfied with a current state? Does accomplishing your goals help fill your void or do you immediately search for a new goal to strive towards? How do you see it?

So nice of you to share your thoughts!

12:43 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

What's wrong with a void? The void is beautiful -- the potentiality from which everything comes. I try to come in touch with the void every day by quieting my mind. Instead of trying to fill myself with more, I want to empty myself until I come in touch with my true nature. Only quiet gets me there, not more, not excess upon excess. It's like the ripples on the water. When they finally calm I can see below the surface.

Emptying gets me there. Filling takes me in the wrong direction. I love the void.

Nice post. Very thought-provoking!

7:20 PM  

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